It's time for a big, fat, KITTENPAUSE.
Or at the very least, it's time for me to ramble on aimlessly for a bit of a while during which time you procrastinate doing your work (or perhaps I'm interesting to you, what with my woes of life and Harry Potter obsession.)
Which brings me to the topics of today's post: Failing Tests, Evaluating Life Goals, and Harry Potter.
Failing Tests
For those of you not aware of where I go to school and what I do (do I have any of you yet? I think most everyone who reads this knows me "irl") I'm currently taking a class entitled "Thermodynamics" although I think a more apt name would be "Thermodynamics is only a third of this class and you're going to fail." The professor of this class is the bane of many a student's existence and, I am given to understand, grades more based on whim than on demonstrated understanding of course topics. This past Wednesday was my first experience taking one of his tests and, despite studying for nearly 5 hours the night before, getting to bed by 1 A.M., and eating a breakfast the next morning, I'm fairly sure I failed the test. The thing of it all is, I needn't have failed the test. I probably would have passed (and still could have, I suppose) if not for the fact that on the easiest problem of the test, I neglected to actually copy the equation properly. This is pretty much the silliest reason I can think of to fail a test and, hopefully, my crazy teacher will agree and allot me two-thirds credit for the question because, really, I understood how to solve the problem I just couldn't help my brain from running through the final song from "A Very Potter Musical" We must unite, so we can fight, turn the battle around. We must unite so we can fiiiight. Voldemort is going DOWN. I am not alone in the failure of this test, but I'm fairly sure I'm the only one who will fail for such a ridiculous reason.
Which leads me to Part II: Evaluating Life Goals
Failing a test is a big deal to me. You have probably already guessed this, as you most likely actually know me, but doing well is incredibly important to me. If I failed this test it leads me to wonder if I'm actually pursuing the right career. I mean, it's only a second year course and I'm on scholarship so if I fail this class (extrapolating, I know) then I could conceivably lose my scholarship, have to drop out of school, and find a nice place to live in some alleyway with a couple of cats. Yep. This led me to asking myself what I want to do with my degree when I get out of here and the truth is, I have no idea! I don't really fancy being a professor or a teacher, and the only real vision I had for my future was a bookshop of my own with a resident cat. That's not to say I don't love learning about the universe and how it works and doing math equations and generally searching for life's existence elsewhere but somehow... I can't really see my life past getting my doctorate and I'm starting to wonder if I'm just putting myself through school because it's expected and because I never saw another way of doing it. I mean I'd really like to be the next Bill Nye, but how does one get that to happen? So I figure, getting my doctorate is a good place to start. If a realllly long course of action. And all because I think I failed a test. Sometimes my imagination just gets ahead of itself.
Harry Potter
While I was evaluating my life goals I asked myself: What do I really love? And the only answer I can come up with is Harry Potter. And by that I mean the series, not the actual character. I spend most of my life thinking in terms of Harry Potter, quoting Harry Potter, and finding other awesome things that people who love Harry Potter have done. (A Very Potter Musical, anyone?) If I could just figure out how to make a living off of my love of Harry Potter, I'd be golden (This is possible, besides the boatloads of money Warner Bros. has made, there are Wizard Rock bands, Vloggers, the Mugglenet and Leaky Cauldron people... I could do that!) The only problem is I can't quite figure out how to make that awesomeness a reality. The advice I'm constantly thrown is "do something you love and you'll never work a day in your life." I can't help wondering how I know what I love... it seems to me at this point that I won't figure it out until it's too late.
If not astronomy, then what?
Okay, enough of my depressing (if witty?) banter.
It's time to PLAY.
Janine, I don't think your life will end if you lose your scholarship. If you have trouble paying your college bills, you can just get a loan like I am. Don't worry about it too much.
ReplyDeleteAs for your future, well, it's true that if you do something you love, then you'll be set. But I would be very surprised if you already knew exactly what you wanted to do. You've been a student all your life, not really living out in the real world.
I say, live in the real world for a while after college, see what you want in life at that point. Don't be afraid of running out of time, you're still decades away from the halfway point. And don't lose too much sleep over this. Live your life instead of worrying about it.
Now, if only *I* could remember this....
I consider this payback for every time you told me to switch to theology. Not so easy, is it? But seriously, life is something that is unpredictable. I remember when I was 12 and I had life plans that involved me getting married at 20, and now that I AM 20, I realize such a plan is impossible. So, plan for life, but make those plans flexible and have back ups in case Plans A to Z fail.
ReplyDeleteAlso, (almost) no partial credit. You're most likely boned
Young padawan, in the words of the wise and powerful Jedi Master Yoda:
ReplyDelete"You must train yourself to let go of all that you fear to lose"
First of all, one botched question on one test is so far from the end of the world it's ridiculous. I've failed numerous tests (and I do care about my grades, thank-you very much, I'm just not disciplined about it) and I'm still taking general relativity now (and understanding it). Besides, you can't expect to be the best at everything forever, you're probably going to fail more tests in the future. Get over it. (not to be read in a hostile way)
Now we all have "the question" as to what the hell we're going to do when we graduate. If you have no "real" interest in astronomy, I strongly suggest you don't seek the highest degree in the world for it. Understand that only 161 people were awarded Ph.D.'s two years ago for astronomy (according to the American Institute of Physics, last years data is not yet available) in the US. They aren't looking for people who aren't sure. Less than half of those who receive bachelors degrees are even accepted in graduate school period (masters and phd's).
Now if you decide you don't really want to do astronomy for the rest of your life, go do something else. Who made the rule that you had to major in a hard science anyway? "Oh so and so was valedictorian of their class, they have no choice but to be a super genius who makes a difference now blah blah blah." Guess what? You and 37,000 other people. That number is not an exaggeration by the way. To answer my own question, nobody made the rule. Do what you want, its your life. And I hope astronomy is it because seriously, its cool. If not, then leave, you're no less of a person. And Vinicio, DO THEOLOGY, you're just being stubborn by staying in astronomy. You don't want to do astronomy and you know it.
Maybe I'll post on this topic at a later date. Anyways, Janine, you're doing fine, don't let Thermo get you down, he curves the grades at the end anyway (if the class average is less than a C) so if you're doing better than everyone else (which you probably are) you're set.
*end rant*
Continuing Aaron's line of thought and to give an example, just look at me. I really like Astronomy, I love looking up at night and thinking about all that's out there. But after a semester of taking Astronomy, and knowing what kind of a life I would be leading, I got the fuck out. I took a semester to see what I liked, what I wanted to do, and decided upon English as really the only major I would want to be in.
ReplyDeleteAnd I really freaking like it! I love learning about all these different authors and writing styles. Dropping out of Astronomy was one of the best things I've done in my college years.
I'm not trying to convince you to drop the major. But if you do feel as if Astronomy isn't perfect for you, then you should re-evaluate what you do want to do right now. None of us will think any less of you if you do decide to drop. We'll support whatever you end up doing. That's what friends are for, after all.
Vinicio - I never even pretended to think that such a decision would be easy. The reason I tell you to go into Theology is because I see in you what I can't seem to figure out for myself - that is, you love theology, you have a real passion for it, and it seems to me what you really want to do with you life.
ReplyDeleteThanks all for your support. When I figure my life out, one way or another, I'll let you know. In the mean time, I'm kind of enjoying making this AAS poster... I shall return to my solitude, and hope that it's clear enough tomorrow to get more ObLab done.