PSA for Height

You may have already read this on my friend's blog. But I'm double posting!

Today's issue of Interesting News is brought to you courtesy of the good ol' kittenpause. Find me at kittenpaws33.blogspot.com.

A Public Service Announcement on behalf of tall girls and short guys everywhere

What is it about tall guys (particularly of the over 6'2" variety) that they tend to be attracted to absurdly short girls? It just isn't fair. I mean really. I would like to put forth the theory (and I believe my dear host Aaron is in agreement with me) that ideally a girl/guy relationship should consist of a shorter girl who is within five or so inches of the respective male's height. This is preferable for several reasons, most of which I will attempt to illustrate with anecdotes.

1. This is better for the guy's neck. Looking down at girls that much shorter all the time can really give you a crick in your neck. My one uncle, who I estimate to be about 6'8", although I forget which uncle it was so he could have been 6'5", once asked my 5'11" mother to dance with him for a minute. He decided that that was the ideal height a girl should be - low enough for cuddling, but not so short that awkward leaning was necessary... I think the woman he married was about 5'4". Really people, it's bad for all of us.

Actually all my uncles are ridiculously tall and married ridiculously short women...

2. This is ideal for the girl in the relationship because she can wear heels and still be comfortably shorter than the guy (and leaves the guy looking very manly I might add). Generally this is not a problem for short girls. They can almost always wear heels and be shorter. But tall girls, who are say, 5'8" really need those extra inches so that the guy's eye level is never at, say, her boobs.

3. What about the short guys? They need to feel acceptably manly. If the short girls go run away with the tall guys then the short guys are left only with medium to tall girls. And any of these cases result in the guy being shorter. Add heels into the equation and well... it's trouble!

Listen, short girls, I know tall guys are attractive. And tall guys I understand that it's nice to feel so powerful standing next to a girl. But you're tall anyway! You'll be taller than most any girl! And if it's bad for a 5'8" girl, what about the 6'3" girls? Really, please, please, try to fight the draw of domination and being dominated. Tall girls would like their love interests to be well above boob level...

I do have a theory that this is evolution's fault. I have a feeling that the tall/short matches happen to normalize the offspring. But I can't help feeling that the other matches in which the girls are tall and the guys are short rarely happen. And this indicates to me that it isn't all evolutionary. There must be a societal influence. Either that or short girls and tall guys are just more attractive... but then why are models 5'9" or taller? Society has royally effed this one up.

I propose the coalition of short guys/tall girls to combat this societal issue. Short guys want the short girls and tall girls want the tall guys. We must unite in the attempt to stop these bonds between tall guys and short girls from forming. I keep seeing my short friends who are 5'4" with guys 6'2" or taller. It's not fair girls, it's just not. Please, on behalf of tall girls and short guys everywhere, cap the height difference at approximately one tenth of your height. If the top of your head is below his chin, it's just too much of a difference.

And tall girls are sick of scrounging for the short girls scraps!

Short guys, do you have any comments? Any ideas on how to remedy this situation?

All right, thanks for taking this not-so-brief kittenpause.